After reading all about the United Kingdom Citizenship test and also having failed it miserably, I think that it's time that Spain also had a purposeless piece of bureaucracy as we don't have quite enough red tape here now and we need to create jobs by making people fill in pointless tests. (Spot the sarcasm?)
Therefore when you are brooding about coming to live in Spain you ought to be studying hard so that you can pass theunofficial Spanish Citizenship Test.
Here are the first 10 questions and I am going to leave you to add in the rest
1)When going into a shop or bank with one or two people already waiting, what do you do?
a) Stand in an orderly queue leaving equal spaces between everyone in the line avoiding making eye-to-eye contact or physical proximity?
b) Mutter "Who's Last" and then mooch against the closest wall?
c) Mutter "Who's last?" then go on to get out your Smartphone and play Indignant Birds while the individual at the front of the queue tells their life story to their cousin who is serving them?
2)When trying to get anything official done what kind of time should you allow yourself?
a) 30 minutes as all you need is a chunk of paper to be stamped?
b) All morning and leave one or two mornings free in the following week as there will glaringly be something else to do and someplace else to go first prior to getting what you need done?
c) There isn't any limit. You may very swiftly lose the determination to keep going.
3)When you sit down in a cafe how long should you expect to be sat there before the waiter/waitress comes to take an order?
a) A few minutes?
b) A good half hour?
c) Forever if you do not really catch their eye and scream "Oye!" or "Oiga!" a couple of times?
4)What is it obligatory to take to a soccer match?
a) A white hankie?
b) A Bocadillo?
c) A pack of "Pipas"?
d) All the above?
(If you answered D for a bonus point what are they for?)
5)Which way did the reconquest of Spain from the Moorish invaders go?
a) North to South?
b) South to North? (An answer specially tailored to Valencians)
c) Spain wasn't reconquered it is till Al Andalus?
6)Who is the current and future head of Govt in Spain?
a) Mr Bean and Mr Personality ("But I Can't Read My Very Own Handwriting")?
b) Zapatero and Rajoy?
c) Both of the above?
7)How much is speeding fine in Spain?
a) Spain has fines?
b) Is dependent on The speed?
c) Depends on your nationality, and whether it is before lunch for the Guardia who has stopped you and if he is a bit short that day?
8) Where is the "Real Spain"?
a) Anywhere from 5km inland round the full country?
b) There is not a real Spain, it is a myth peddled by writers attempting to match the successfulness of "A Year in Provence" for France?
c) Wherever you see a mule on a regular basis?
9)If you go to talk to any politician in Spain how does one know whether he is corrupt?
a) There are no corrupt officeholders in Spain how dare you suggest anything so ridiculous?
b) On a scale of one to ten "Ours ' go up to 11?
c) Is she breathing at all? Yes! They are corrupt then!
10)Where is the best Spanish food to be found?
a) Wherever the person you are talking to is from?
b) I prefer fish and chips?
c) I have never tried that foreign muck?
As I asked before are there any other questions you want to add into the comments?
Therefore when you are brooding about coming to live in Spain you ought to be studying hard so that you can pass theunofficial Spanish Citizenship Test.
Here are the first 10 questions and I am going to leave you to add in the rest
1)When going into a shop or bank with one or two people already waiting, what do you do?
a) Stand in an orderly queue leaving equal spaces between everyone in the line avoiding making eye-to-eye contact or physical proximity?
b) Mutter "Who's Last" and then mooch against the closest wall?
c) Mutter "Who's last?" then go on to get out your Smartphone and play Indignant Birds while the individual at the front of the queue tells their life story to their cousin who is serving them?
2)When trying to get anything official done what kind of time should you allow yourself?
a) 30 minutes as all you need is a chunk of paper to be stamped?
b) All morning and leave one or two mornings free in the following week as there will glaringly be something else to do and someplace else to go first prior to getting what you need done?
c) There isn't any limit. You may very swiftly lose the determination to keep going.
3)When you sit down in a cafe how long should you expect to be sat there before the waiter/waitress comes to take an order?
a) A few minutes?
b) A good half hour?
c) Forever if you do not really catch their eye and scream "Oye!" or "Oiga!" a couple of times?
4)What is it obligatory to take to a soccer match?
a) A white hankie?
b) A Bocadillo?
c) A pack of "Pipas"?
d) All the above?
(If you answered D for a bonus point what are they for?)
5)Which way did the reconquest of Spain from the Moorish invaders go?
a) North to South?
b) South to North? (An answer specially tailored to Valencians)
c) Spain wasn't reconquered it is till Al Andalus?
6)Who is the current and future head of Govt in Spain?
a) Mr Bean and Mr Personality ("But I Can't Read My Very Own Handwriting")?
b) Zapatero and Rajoy?
c) Both of the above?
7)How much is speeding fine in Spain?
a) Spain has fines?
b) Is dependent on The speed?
c) Depends on your nationality, and whether it is before lunch for the Guardia who has stopped you and if he is a bit short that day?
8) Where is the "Real Spain"?
a) Anywhere from 5km inland round the full country?
b) There is not a real Spain, it is a myth peddled by writers attempting to match the successfulness of "A Year in Provence" for France?
c) Wherever you see a mule on a regular basis?
9)If you go to talk to any politician in Spain how does one know whether he is corrupt?
a) There are no corrupt officeholders in Spain how dare you suggest anything so ridiculous?
b) On a scale of one to ten "Ours ' go up to 11?
c) Is she breathing at all? Yes! They are corrupt then!
10)Where is the best Spanish food to be found?
a) Wherever the person you are talking to is from?
b) I prefer fish and chips?
c) I have never tried that foreign muck?
As I asked before are there any other questions you want to add into the comments?
About the Author:
Graham Hunt runs an estate broker in Valencia, Valencia Property. He also blogs about Spain and Spanish associated subjects at Houses For Sale In Spain
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