Sunday, 12 June 2011

It's not safe to exit your apartments in Rio de Janeiro, the turtles are assaulting

By Thelma Costaletta


Turtles, that's right, turtles. Yeah, sure they appear like they travel slow at first. They appear tame. They seem like they wouldn't do you a harm in the world. Just roaming about on random pieces of real estate, nibbling on pieces of fruit. Well, my friend, I'm sorry but you happen to be lulled into a false feeling of security. You see, the turtles of Rio de Janeiro are already plotting on us for quite a while now. They are giant marauding godless killing machines. And they are coming over to our apartments and hotels for a meal.

Anyone who has watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles knows what these cold blooded reptiles are prepared for. Kung fu, karate and all sorts of other violence and shenanigans. We haven't even reached the snapping turtles yet. Those have been kept in reserve, waiting to be unleashed when turtles rain hell on Rio de Janeiro. Your pristine beaches of Copacabana and Ipanema will a vacation no more. It's turtle time and we're about to be shell shocked.

So how will the invasion begin? Well first they will likely send their little minions out to be picked up by people and brought home to their flats and apartments. Even tourists will take them to their hotels. The idea is to keep them as pets, in small aquariums. Little does anyone understand that these acrobatic little devils are just lulling you into a false sense of security. Those rentals and accommodations that you thought would make for a nice little holiday will now be a hunting ground for these cold blooded reptilian murders. Without warning they are going to jump from the little cardboard box you put them in and bite your flipping nose off!

So what are the recommendations to deal with these armored invaders? Whether you are residing in apartments, hotels, or flats the fact remains that you are still susceptible. Of course it usually is possible that you can find rentals which will be more secured accommodations keep in mind that the threat continues to be. The shelled assassins of Rio de Janeiro are coming for you, any moment now.

Certainly you probably never would have guessed that your stay in Ipanema or Copacabana would be like this. Who could possibly anticipate a turtle invasion of this degree. That's right, no one. It was their strategy all along. The greatest trick that the devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn't exist. Apparently these aggresive little tortoises have played the same type of trick.




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